Once I get the feel of a dance move in my body, I can relax and just do it. There's wisdom in the phrase it's easy once you know how. Learning any physical activity by thinking through the steps and ordering your body to do them is bloody awkward. Both partners have to relax, stop thinking and just dance before dancing gets delicious, but leads have a disadvantage: their role forces them to think at first. Leads have to think, plan, and initiate follows have to pay attention, not anticipate, and respond. Not because leading is harder, but because the early stages of leading and following are different. Partner dancing is frustratingly difficult at first, and it's harder for leads to get going with than it is for follows. One of the first things it gave me was insight into the differences between learning lead and follow roles. Learning both roles right from the get go was the best possible way I could have started partner dancing (thank you Leela). I did all their classes numerous times, dancing as a lead, as a follow, as a volunteer lead, as a volunteer follow, and finally as a switch volunteer, dancing whichever role was needed, switching roles as late arrivals changed the balance. For the next few years I gorged myself on Living Traditions classes. Ruby disappeared from partner dancing after the one class, but I went ahead with more lessons. Ruby and I went ahead with our plan to take swing dance lessons at Living Traditions. Lucky for me I already had a plan to help me get me started with that. I wanted real partner dancing, lead and follow, improvising to the music. But I knew contra wasn't what I really wanted. It was my first tiny taste of the easy intimacy of partner dancing. That sweet attention was such balm for my broken heart. All the pretty eyes gazing intently into mine. It wasn't, for a non-dancer, but the contra dancers were kind and patient with my ineptitude, nudging and beckoning me through. I warned her I was an utter noob but she said it was easy. The set was done and I was turning to leave when a woman grabbed my hand and asked me to dance. I got fascinated by the interlocking human clockwork of this giant dance machine so I stood there a while. I knew what it was but that was about it. I walked in and saw long lines of dancers doing contra. I watched kids playing in the fountain for a while, then headed to the Center House but got drawn to the buzz happening around Fisher, aboveground in those days. Moping in a crowd seemed preferable to moping in my room, so I headed down to Folklife. I landed at Keith's house again, only this time there was a room for me to move into with my new kitty Tiger Lily. I was feeling down my girl had rejected me. Ruby had just given me my walking papers. Not with waltz or swing or tango but with contra.
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